The Value of Nice

When I was younger, I had an edge...

You know, other people didn't quite know if I was to be approached or not. I had the look of someone who had their act together and didn't care what anyone else thought.

Then I lost it.

I ran into two colleagues who decided to take me down.

And it got ugly.

So, I lost my persona and had to rebuild.

The rebuilding was an interesting process as I couldn't compile what I'd lost because my inner self had been injured. I needed to regain my confidence, but in a way that didn't invite the vicious attack I'd just experienced.

I think I concocted a new persona that was too nice.

My new self skirted the middle ground, championing the under dog and becoming a voice for those who needed help to be heard. Through hard work, I honed my professional credibility and rose to the rank of executive, which let me stand-up to injustices in the workplace -- winning me the admiration of the workforce. But, labeling me a non-player in the executive race to the top.

In looking back, this begs the question, "am I too nice?"

The reason for this reflection is based on a conversation I had with someone who said she's being told in various job interviews the candidate must be nice. How can you tell if someone is nice or not nice in a one hour job interview? I don't think its possible. And, I definitely doubt nice is a leadership attribute. I think it may be for a receptionist who deals with outsiders for a living. But, in my thinking the leaders must be brutal when needed, hard-charging to push organizational change, and passionate about their team members. Where does nice come to play?

I don't have the answer, but I do know one thing. Being nice isn't the same as being respectful, courteous, or even kind. These are leadership attributes I value.