Tuesday, October 21, 2014

RePurpose - Day 6

I love the sound of rain on the roof.  It reminds me of summer rainy nights at camp as a child.  This sound is so restful.

Hearing is such great sense, one I am very aware of as I now need hearing aids to get along.

I have always enjoyed listening to nature and learning what creature originates each sound.  Just the other day, I sat by the local reservoir just listening.  Yesterday, I laid in my hammock, listening.  And, now I'm laying in bed listening to the gentle train on the roof.

My quest is to be attuned to my surroundings.  Listening is la major tool to make this happen.

Monday, October 20, 2014

RePurpose - Day 5

Technology, can't live without it... Or can we?

Until you lose power, you don't realize how dependent upon electricity and our many technical objects we have become.

Even though I work in the IT field, I think life had become too easy, making humans lazy and put off touch with the rest of nature. 

Growing up, I spent all the summer days outside, even learning camp craft to be able to track using the sun, build fires using only one match, and living of the land.  When I return home from camp, I couldn't adjust to the noise and all I wanted was to be back in the woods.

I value nature and treasure my camp experiences.  If I were the only human in my house, I wouldn't own a television.  I would install solar panels and get a rain barrel.  I'd have a garden and I'd hang my clothes outside to dry.  But, could I give up my computer? 

No!  I believe in the good that's come from our technology.  I'm struggling with what it will take to get everyone to share a cousin of our future where we use our brain power for global good.

I fear that will be the collapse of our ecosystem.  I hope to be prepared, but I haven't yet started.  Pray there's time...

Friday, October 17, 2014

RePurpose - Day 4

Family is something wonderful that we often take for granted.  Everyone dis, it's natural.  Family is one of those things you really miss when you don't have it anymore.

I come from a small family, and a small extended family.  As a child, we'd gather with all the extended family just to get a good sized crowd gathered.  For some reason, we tend to start our child rearing later in life, so all the adults in my early life were already in mid-life.  By the time I graduated college, they were staying to pass on to their heavenly rewards.

As the result, I've had few relatives, and must of them have loved in other states.  So, I adopted my husband's larger immediate family and his really large extended family as my own.

Tonight, one of my the first cousins can into town from Louisiana, and he is staying the night with us.  It's so good to have a blood relative here, it's something i cherish.  We have family ties and shared memories very few other people have in common with me.  It makes me happy because I really miss all those good souls from so long ago... My grandmother, aunt, uncles, father, and all the loving folks who made me who I am.

I never forget them, I recall their stories as I travel places they once occupied.  Several years ago we celebrated the hundredth anniversary of our family church - built by four families, all German immigrants, from which my grandmother and grandfather were descendants.  In the first organ peels and voices raised, years stand down my face as all the monitors of my beloved family members who say in those pews and sang the same hymns came flooding into my awareness.  Oh how I miss them all!

Oh how much appreciate having my cousin here tonight. 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

RePurpose - Day,3

Anger is a truly human emotion.  So is frustration, which is frequently the cause of anger.  One of the goals I have of this RePurpose is to regain balance - balance that enables, empowers me to regard situations without emotion, to size up the players and act with purpose.

I once had mastered this ability.

I could have used it today.  I'm dealing with a pair of sick elders who are angry, miserable and seem to enjoy pushing other people's buttons.  I know it's frustrating to no longer be able to care for yourself or do things as you'd like.I know it's impossible to be civil when you're suffering.I know it's got to be scary to face your own demise. Oh, I could go on.

Would that I could have just been detached from the insanity that affronted me.  Perhaps, not reacting would have influenced a return to normalcy rather than allowing bad behavior to continue.

I need to practice, practice, practice.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

RePurpose - Day 2

As a child, I spent a lot of time in the woods.  I learned how to sit quietly and listen to the sounds of the world and the woodland inhabitants. I became attuned to earth's patterns and could move about with incredible ease in near silence.

Today, I began my journey to regain the self sense of my life back in the woods.I inhaled the delicious smells and rapidly aligned my rhythms with that of nature surrounding me.  How wonderful I felt.

Then, I came upon a buck, who was grazing along the horse path. Next, as I quietly traveled the road toward the reservoir, I spotted a doe standing guard stop the hill.  I stayed my ground and gained her trust, for as she entered the thick brush, three fawns dashed out from the other side of the road roo join their mother on the other side.  The sight of those babies made my heart leap fir joy.  Being allowed to stay that close was like being s child again, attuned with nature - no, being pay off the natural order!

Such a great experience

Good start of my quest to regain myself, for I was once a child of the forest and s lover of all thing natural.

Monday, October 13, 2014

RePurpose - Day 1

Purposely spent today quietly to tee-center and get balance after two weeks dealing with sick parents.  Was the perfect day for this ad it was dark and rainy, with a fall chill.  And, it's Columbus Day, but I had to work.

Being alone and sitting quietly while being productive did wonders for me!  I feel like myself, that is the current me.  My goal is to reflect and examine until I regain a send of my earlier self... A self I don't want to lose and very much hope to bring back into my active thinking.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, October 12, 2014

RePurpose

I started writing this blog to capture my reflections and get back to living life in its simple form.  As always, life got in the way, and I haven't been as diligent as I'd planned about writing daily.  Since this is really something I'm doing for myself, it may not even matter how frequently I post, but I think it does matter.  After all, if you want to form a habit, you must be repetitive.

So, l'm going to give it another try.

My desire is to regain the deep sense of being I once had.  I really knew myself well and I found that gave me incredible power.  I used that power to get what I wanted.I got what I wanted because I was confident in knowing myself.

Over the years, I ran into people who didn't like me because I was so confident and they tried to break me down.  One terrible situation did break of a piece which I never regained.  Sadly.

Another time, I ended up in a real cat fight orchestrated by a mad man for his own enjoyment.  Happily, I prevailed and even documented what he was doing which later was used to get him fired.

In the end of my career working for the federal government, I wound up on the wrong side of a political coup and had to get legal help and again prevailed. Although I did nothing to deserve what was happening, it takes pieces away.  I guess I'm lucky I still have most of my pieces.  I've met people who've lost them all.

What I know is it's critical to always be the consummate professional and never let the bastards get you down!

As a child, I spent a lot of time thinking about things. I got to know myself well. I want to get to know myself well again.  Oh, I'm not saying I've lost my purpose, or forgotten who I am.  No, but I couldn't immediately tell you what I think about any given subject without having to stop and think about it.

I want to have answers for any question, situation or circumstance I encounter.  So it begins...