It's taken me a very long time to realize it's okay to make money, it's okay to have things, it's okay to enjoy material objects.
I was taught honesty and hard work would reap rewards. That you were responsible for your actions and would be held accountable to a higher authority. Your work will benefit the "common good." This is the good old "Puritan work ethic!"
It pains me to realize and admit I am a slow learner.
These principles, though deeply ingrained in me and other apparently old thinkers, are no longer true in American society. In fact, it feels like being a subscribers to these "golden rules" actually makes you a sucker!
Upon reflection, here are some lessons learned the hard way. . .
1. I never got ahead through my honest hard work. Others who worked hard at getting ahead left me behind to do their work!
2. I didn't get rich through saving my money. Savers get penalized for saving. Our credit-based economic infrastructure wants people to be in perpetual debt. If you have money, you will be forced to pay more based on the premise that you can afford to do so. For example, I qualified for less financial aid and higher interest rates on un-subsidized student loans because of my income and bank balance. (A friend who chooses to play rather than save has a daughter the same age as my kids. She has chosen to work a lower-level, lower-paying job because she "doesn't want to work hard." Her husband works in food services and gets paid under the table. On paper they look relatively poor. But, her parents have subsidized them for years with free childcare, free food, free auto repairs, down payments for their house, and other things I had to pay myself by skimping and saving. In the end, my two kids owe double on their Stafford loans having gotten 6.8% interest because I didn't qualify for the subsidized aid package. Her child has $16,000 to pay off. All three kids are now working their first jobs and making the same salary. It is completely unfair that my children are strapped with double the debt. The reality is my progeny are living at home while hers is already out in a townhouse.)
3. The more I save the more I pay! This is completely demoralizing and demotivating. America rewards the wrong behaviors. I feel like the Ant in the "Ant and Grasshopper" fable. Except, in this country, the Grasshopper gets taken care of when winter comes using the life-long savings of the Ant. Don't take me wrong - I am a socially-minded person who believes in helping the less fortunate. But, using my friend as an example again, she spends all that she makes on trips, weekend partying, and buying stuff she wants. I have conserved my spending, choosing to live below my means to put away for the future. I believe she and I will end up exactly the same - except my savings will go to help her get there. What lesson did she learn? None. She thinks she is entitled to live the high life!
4. It is how you play the game! Politics are all around us, not just on Capitol Hill. It's the highly capable self-promoters, strategic manipulators, and talented Camileans who get noticed, not those who work hard and expect the fruits of those labors to propel them upward. Bosses are flattered by others mirroring them. People like to surround themselves with others who are similar. Superiors want to impart power and authority to the people who understand what they want (opposed to those who tell them what is wrong with their plans!)
5. Play hard! I noticed that while I rarely took vacation, others seemed able to go off on multiple trips a year! This was partially due to my responsible savings regiment, but I also thought it was important to let my team members take off and someone had to hold down the fort. Turns out, there are few brownie points for holding down the fort.
I am usually an optimistic, strategic-thinking problem solver. Why have I not seen this earlier and changed my behavior?
I come back to the early implanting of the "puritan ethic" into my very being. It appears the Puritans are finally dead in America. Good or Bad? I don't know. I only realize, now, that it has happened. The "ME" generation actually won. It's that Simple, Simple!
It pains me to realize and admit I am a slow learner.
These principles, though deeply ingrained in me and other apparently old thinkers, are no longer true in American society. In fact, it feels like being a subscribers to these "golden rules" actually makes you a sucker!
Upon reflection, here are some lessons learned the hard way. . .
1. I never got ahead through my honest hard work. Others who worked hard at getting ahead left me behind to do their work!
2. I didn't get rich through saving my money. Savers get penalized for saving. Our credit-based economic infrastructure wants people to be in perpetual debt. If you have money, you will be forced to pay more based on the premise that you can afford to do so. For example, I qualified for less financial aid and higher interest rates on un-subsidized student loans because of my income and bank balance. (A friend who chooses to play rather than save has a daughter the same age as my kids. She has chosen to work a lower-level, lower-paying job because she "doesn't want to work hard." Her husband works in food services and gets paid under the table. On paper they look relatively poor. But, her parents have subsidized them for years with free childcare, free food, free auto repairs, down payments for their house, and other things I had to pay myself by skimping and saving. In the end, my two kids owe double on their Stafford loans having gotten 6.8% interest because I didn't qualify for the subsidized aid package. Her child has $16,000 to pay off. All three kids are now working their first jobs and making the same salary. It is completely unfair that my children are strapped with double the debt. The reality is my progeny are living at home while hers is already out in a townhouse.)
3. The more I save the more I pay! This is completely demoralizing and demotivating. America rewards the wrong behaviors. I feel like the Ant in the "Ant and Grasshopper" fable. Except, in this country, the Grasshopper gets taken care of when winter comes using the life-long savings of the Ant. Don't take me wrong - I am a socially-minded person who believes in helping the less fortunate. But, using my friend as an example again, she spends all that she makes on trips, weekend partying, and buying stuff she wants. I have conserved my spending, choosing to live below my means to put away for the future. I believe she and I will end up exactly the same - except my savings will go to help her get there. What lesson did she learn? None. She thinks she is entitled to live the high life!
4. It is how you play the game! Politics are all around us, not just on Capitol Hill. It's the highly capable self-promoters, strategic manipulators, and talented Camileans who get noticed, not those who work hard and expect the fruits of those labors to propel them upward. Bosses are flattered by others mirroring them. People like to surround themselves with others who are similar. Superiors want to impart power and authority to the people who understand what they want (opposed to those who tell them what is wrong with their plans!)
5. Play hard! I noticed that while I rarely took vacation, others seemed able to go off on multiple trips a year! This was partially due to my responsible savings regiment, but I also thought it was important to let my team members take off and someone had to hold down the fort. Turns out, there are few brownie points for holding down the fort.
I am usually an optimistic, strategic-thinking problem solver. Why have I not seen this earlier and changed my behavior?
I come back to the early implanting of the "puritan ethic" into my very being. It appears the Puritans are finally dead in America. Good or Bad? I don't know. I only realize, now, that it has happened. The "ME" generation actually won. It's that Simple, Simple!
