I'm in Control

I'm over my pity party!  (previous post)


I don't often allow other people to drag me down with their drama and negativity.  In fact, its so rare, this is only the second time in my life I can remember it happening.


Nothing has changed except I decided I'm not playing this game.  I'm in control of my life.  And, I'm really happy about this.  Unfortunately, the end results remain abysmal, but there's nothing I can do about changing what's been done.  So, I'm letting it go.


Unhappily, my feelings about the people involved have not changed.  I've lost them being in my life, a sad effect of their ugliness.  Hey, who am I kidding... they don't even care that our relationship has been damaged.  They can't deal with the impacts of what they do.  They've made selfish and irresponsible decisions that will have lasting detrimental outcomes for their parents.  I can't say I don't care about this.  I do, and I probably always will. 


Being sad and drowning in drama are different things.  It's okay to be sad about how things have turned out.  It's also sad that family can't deal with problems in a respectful manner.  It's sad to see grown children deny their part in failing to preserve the dignity of elderly people who can't defend themselves.  I've really learned a great deal about how ugly, selfish and compulsive people can be.  It's such a surprise to see family members for who they really are -- flawed human beings who need to adhere to their versions of reality at all costs regardless of the outcomes.


 For me, logic and fairness and duty are critical drivers for the decisions in my life.  Who would have thought anyone could vehemently fight these core values.  Guess I have learned another life lesson, which is this:  Nobody died, ignore the drama queens and get on with my own stuff!