RePurpose - Day 8

The sandwich generation.

Just got a big dose of learning what this mean from spending the past eight weeks carrying for my mother and helping her through three hospitalizations and two rehabilitation periods.

My mother and I have always had a different type of relationship.  If we weren't mother and daughter, we would not even be friends.  We just aren't very compatible.  Never were.  From the very start, Mom went right back to work after I was born.  My being born premature and spending my first month in the hospital may not have helped us bond.  And, I was colicy.  Nuff said!

While Mom went to work, my dad and I spent a lot of time together and I became "Daddy's girl." Five years later, my brother joined us and he aligned with my mother.  To this day, he is her favorite. And, I'm good with that.  I am happy she had him to give her the joy of mothering.  As a mother, I realize how much that means to a woman and I'd never begrudge my mother her feelings.

As things turned out, my brother has always been removed from us as his work moved him around and he left home as a teen to attend private school. I am the child who stayed close to home (though I always envisioned myself moving around and seeing the world!)  As I had my own family, we included my mother in all our family activities, resulting in her now having a close relationship with my son and daughter.  This makes me happy.  Another thing that is most wonderful is my closeness with my own daughter!  We have had our growing pains, but now are good friends.

One thing my mother did for me was ensure I was exposed to many things while growing up.  She believed childhood was a time to try new things and learn to test yourself.  My mother positioned me to become a strong woman.  As I grew up and started my career, my mother and I grew closer talking about challenges in our respective jobs.  She gave good advice and listened with interest to my tales, triumphs and blunders.  This began our nightly routine of after-dinner calls to talk about our day. More recently, the weekends have evolved into shopping trips together and finding new places to eat. I guess we were finally friends.

This health incident forced us to be together nearly all the time, in reverse roles where I am the caregiver, It didn't always go smoothly as we grew tired and our endurance was tested.  But, we made it... so far!